I love a good joke. The cornier the better. I have been telling bad jokes all my life much to the chagrin of my friends and family.
This is a collection of Disney jokes I have featured in my blog posts. I hope they make you laugh, but it’s okay if you groan, too. Happiness Squared.
Jokes about Mickey and the gang:
Q: What does Goofy’s Irish cousin call the chairs he keeps in his backyard?
A: Paddy O’Furniture.
Q: Why did Goofy stare at the label on the orange juice all day?
A: Because the carton said concentrate.
Q: When does Mickey Mouse put up his new calendar?
A: On New Ear’s Day!
Q: What is Donald Duck’s favorite Christmas wine?
A: “Do I have to eat brussel sprouts?”
Q: Why did Mickey Mouse take a space ship to outer space?
A: He was looking for Pluto!
Q: What did Daisy Duck say when she bought some lipstick at the store?
A: Just put it on my bill.
Jokes about Disney Princesses:
Q: What is Tiana and Naveen’s favorite holiday?
A: Leap Day!
Q: Why did Jasmine go to the fruit stand in the Marketplace?
A: She was looking for a date.
Q: Why wasn’t Cinderella invited to play soccer?
A: She always ran away from the ball.
Jokes about Disney characters and movies:
Q: What is Tarzan’s favorite Christmas carol?
A: Jungle Bells
Q: What did the 101 dalmatians say when they finished dinner?
A: That hit the spots.
Q: What is Timon’s favorite candy bar?
Q: What language did Pumbaa learn in school?
A: Pig Latin
Q: What did Grumpy say when Doc told him it was time to go to bed?
A: I’m not Sleepy
Q: Why did Buzz Lightyear decide to vacation on Mars?
A: Because the moon was full.
Q: Why can’t Pinocchio play the guitar?
A: He’s got no strings.
Q: Why doesn’t Mr. Potatohead take Mrs. Potatohead out to nice restaurants?
A: He heard they cost an arm and a leg.
Q: Have you read Buzz Lightyear’s new book about anti-gravity?
A: You can’t put it down.
Jokes about everything else:
Q:What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?
Q: What insect was the king of the wild frontier?
A: Davey Cricket